講演のお知らせ 「英語ユーモア事始め」



fun card

I got a card from my daughter for Father’s Day.

It’s the funnest and wittiest card I’ve ever had for the occasion. (The content was even better.) Though I don’t dress like Clark Kent, the humor is flattering. Wish there were Daughter’s Day.





オランダ発 英語スペリングギブアップ!ライム

単語の綴りと発音に統一性があまりないとよく言われる英語ですが その食い違いの実例を多数取り上げてライムで綴った詩です。その”惨状”をどのくらい理解しているか、ご自分でチェックしてみては。
AABBCC・・・のライムスキームなので、行末に来た単語が読めない場合は、その前あるいは後の行末の語の発音と合わせればOK。オランダの英語研究家Gerard Nolst Trenitéの作品です。

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!”

Gerard Nolst Trenité, Drop Your Foreign Accent


You think I need more exercise. Well, I don’t.
I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions,
pushing my luck, groping in the dark, kicking myself
and dodging deadlines!

jump to conclusions はやとちりする push one’s luck図に乗る  grope in the dark 暗中模索する kick oneself ミスした自分を責める dodge deadlines 締切をやり過ごす


まだまだ持ちそう そこで一首:



この舵輪(steering wheel、wheel)の後ろに人が立てば、
He’s behind the wheel.
この「舵輪の向こうに」は「船などの乗り物を運転して」となり、転じて「チームのリーダーで」というイディオムになり、航海の時代からwheelが車のハンドル(steering wheel)になって久しい今も活躍中。、

船と言えば、テレビの深夜番組で司会をしていたとき、マリンスポーツ特集の夜(朝?)に、海の言葉で面白いものはありますか、とゲストの作詞作曲家でセーラ-の中山大三郎さんに尋ねたとき、「レッコする」なんかどうかな、と情報を拝領したことがありました。つないでいたものを「放す」、いらないものを「捨てる」という意味だそうで、よく読んでいたフィリップ・ロスのLetting Goという小説を思い出したり、Let go (of …).「(・・・を)放せ」から日本語化してものだろうと考えたり・・・あの部分は楽しかった(ぼくのマリンスポーツは水泳のみですから)。
これからスタンダップパドルボーディングかなと思いつつ。合唱団の皆様、特にRolling Homeはネットで見るどのクリップより良かったです!お疲れ様でした。